THE
ESSENCE OF MASCULINITY
Current society finds it politically correct that the patriarchy does not encourage gender equality, and this idea is valid because the patriarchy does invalidate the strength of females and elevates males to a role more significant than their female counterparts by imposing expectations of strength for males and submissiveness for females. Yet equality is an idealistic goal, and admittedly the establishment of gender roles does create an order to things and perhaps masculinity is just as important for the cause. This brings in the question of what is the essence of masculinity?
23-year-old Kirshann sees masculinity as a byproduct of being self-preserving, linking the role as a father to that of a hunter-gatherer where men would go out and work so as to bring food for the family as opposed to femininity as being based on bringing harmony such as taking care of everybody. This observation makes sense if seen from a biological perspective; men are physically stronger and therefore are able to go out to labour, whereas women, who are able to birth children, consequentially can look after them. Though this does not mean we should be confined to our gender roles, essentially it does make sense.
“I think masculinity is inherently fine on its own, but my problem is that masculinity has spun it into something that it’s not,” says 22-year-old Brandon. He comments how in current society masculinity is used to benchmark guys against each other and it should not be that way. What he believes it really should be about is being firm in your beliefs.
“After I come to terms with myself and my sexuality, masculinity for me was being transparent, being accountable and being vulnerable,” says Musa, 29. He talks about how men should be courageous enough to own up to their mistakes and take responsibility, which he sees lacking in many men.
“I feel that outer appearance and emotional vulnerability shouldn't coincide with having masculine traits. I feel like they can express themselves however they want to and still be capable of achieving their goals.” remarks Farah, 24. Nabila, 26 makes a similar remark, stating that "(referring to strength) I don't mean it as just physically strong, it could be like emotionally strong or mentally strong." Indeed masculinity is not just about appearance it’s also about strength and basically being a decent person, traits which we’d expect from anyone human and not just men.
“I feel that outer appearance and emotional vulnerability shouldn't coincide with having masculine traits. I feel like they can express themselves however they want to and still be capable of achieving their goals”
-Farah, 24
In conclusion, if we as 'masculine' men truly believe we deserve the roles assigned to our gender, we have much to work on. If masculinity is really about strength, leadership and excellence, then we’d need the courage to own up to and work on our flaws rather than hide them and put up a facade of a strong front.
“I think masculinity is inherently fine on its own, but my problem is that masculinity has spun it into something that it’s not,”
-Brandon, 22
